Adventures in Unemployment

So, when I "left" my job last year, I had an abundance of thoughts, most of which turned out to be completely naive and totally unrealistic. Mostly things like this:

1. I'm supremely qualified; it won't take me long to find a new, better job.
2. This will be great; I'll be able to go to the gym every day, and pick back up on my running.
3. Even better, I'll be able to get all those nagging jobs done around the house.
4. EVEN even better, I'll finally get to work on all my sewing and art projects that have been waiting in the wings.
5. All those recipes I've been wanting to try - they're mine now.

And so on. So, this far in to my new, freeing life and I've accomplished approximately zero of the above. I wasn't prepared for the crushing depression that accompanies unemployment - the days where I can't seem to get out of bed, and when I do, the anxiety that goes along with knowing I have to be functional for the next several hours until I can return to the comfort of my squishy pillow. I can't leave the house - where would I go? My Kindle has removed the need to go to the library as I can check out books online. I can't go shopping - my budget won't allow it. I could go for a walk or a run...yes, that's a good idea. I'll just sit here on the floor and put on my running shoes....man, it's comfortable down here in the sun....I'll just close my eyes for a second....

Yes, I know all about self-defeating behaviors and negative spiral thinking. I've been to therapists. I've read the books and the blogs and watched the shows. But, unless you're in it, you don't know. Without somewhere to go every day and something useful to do, I feel worthless. I'm not contributing, and I was completely unprepared for how devastating that makes one feel. Sure, I have a couple of freelance design accounts, which is great, and I'm very thankful for that, but without the routine of getting up and going somewhere, I'm lost. I guess I just need to develop a new routine for this new, hopefully temporary life.

They say volunteering is good for you - so yesterday morning the SO and I showed up early for our first Bountiful Baskets pickup to volunteer. My new, frugal lifestyle lead me to Bountiful Baskets, a food co-op which I highly recommend. Their info is here: www.bountifulbaskets.org. I save a ton of money, get to try new produce I might not normally try, and it made me feel good for a little while to help out. It's a lot of goods for just the SO and I, so I'll show you what I did with all the fruits and veggies in a later post. The frugal part of unemployment I actually enjoy. It's challenging to make the most of what you have, especially in the food department. As a vegetarian, it's relatively easy for me to branch out and try new things, but it's a bit more challenging to feed the SO, a devoted meatatarian. I'm working on him, though....

As I got new, beautiful green bananas in my basket, I relegated some the old, crummy ones to banana bread, and the rest to the freezer for future smoothies. Here's my healthier version of banana bread. Enjoy!

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup butter, softened
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups mashed ripe banana (about 3 bananas)
1/3 cup plain non-fat (preferably Greek) yogurt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Cooking spray

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine the flours, baking soda, and salt, stirring with a whisk.
3. Place sugar and butter in a large bowl, and beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended (about 1 minute). Add the eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Add banana, yogurt, and vanilla; beat until blended. Add flour mixture; beat at low speed just until moist. Spoon batter into a loaf pan ( mine was 9" x 5") coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350° for 1 hour or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pan on a wire rack; remove from pan. Cool completely on wire rack.